Get Real

At the check-out in Wegman's recently, I found myself looking at the items on the belt of the person in front of me.  I need to say here that I consciously do NOT look at others' items because I can't help but let my mind go in places I don't like it to be.  And to be totally honest, I don't often go to mainstream stores like Wegman's because I like to stay in my little health-nut bubble, shopping at my local health food stores or at Whole Foods.

But, there I was, in line at Wegmans, staring at the food on the belt, and this is what I saw:  Among a few other items, Lactaid milk, sugar-free chocolate pudding, fat free ice cream, and Pepperidge Farm cookies.  The shopper was a middle-aged, pot-bellied man.

I'm so tempted sometimes to hand out my card to people, to tell them, "please, let me help you find delicious, healthy REAL food."  But I can't.  Not only is it not ethical or socially appropriate, but these people don't want my help.  I'm pretty sure this man has it figured out already (or so he thinks).  Who knows, maybe he was even shopping for someone else.  It's really none of my business.
But those items on the belt represent, to me, the wrong direction that this country has taken in food-like substances (as Michael Pollan says).  Besides those items not being whole foods or even real foods, they are also imposters.  They are trying to pretend to be other things, and in my opinion, quite unsuccessfully.

Get real.  As I say to my clients, if you don't want to give up the ice cream, then don't.  Learn to moderate.  Learn to strategize so that you are forced to have small portions, and when you're treating yourself to that smaller portion, savor it.  Eat it slowly, enjoying every taste and texture and smell that you can out of it.  And then eat real, whole foods, mostly vegetables, the rest of the time so that you don't have to guilt yourself over having that one delicious cookie or small bowl of ice cream.

Last month I went to Belize for vacation where we ate local, whole foods for all three meals of the day.  One of the guides that gave us a tour asked me what I did back at home. I told him I was a health and nutrition counselor.  He looked at me perplexed.  I explained, "Well, in America, people often don't know how to eat healthy foods."  "Ahhh!"  he said, "Too much McDonald's!"  He had never been, of course.  And perhaps, that's why he was so perplexed at first.  I can't tell you how refreshing that was.  The truth is, if I were to retire to Belize, I may still have a job, but my clients would be the expatriate and retired Americans who finally decided it was time to get real.

The Holiday Sabotage Story

This time of year, I hear the message loud and clear:  “I’ll get back to being healthy after the holidays.” Of course, everyone has their own way of saying it, but basically, people just want to let go, eat what they want, and not think about it until January when they swear they will “be good” again.

But this is a script, as I call it.  Just as play writers design their scenes, with characters doing whatever they write them to do, you are your own playwright and you can rewrite the script you wrote yourself a long time ago, the one that is similar to what I explained above.  So, before, your script was to try really hard to eat well and exercise, maybe even do a cleanse in the fall.  But, uh oh, here comes Thanksgiving.  What to do?  Well, you don’t want to not enjoy yourself.  What’s worse, you don’t want to have to explain yourself to those relatives you see twice a year—the ones who DON’T try to eat well and exercise, EVER.  So, you decide to fall off the wagon for Thanksgiving, and since Christmas/Eid/Hannukah/Kwanza is next and holiday parties in between, well, why don’t you just stay off the wagon until the New Year?

But you’ve worked too hard to get to this defeated place.  You don’t need to fall off the wagon—maybe you’ll drag your feet on the ground a little bit, but then get them back in the wagon.  Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, not so much because of the food, but because family is around and we reflect upon the things we’re grateful for.  This is powerful to do in a large group, and it’s fun to hear how the kids’ gratitude evolves over the years.  What the heck, it’s fun to hear how the adults’ does too.  

Here is my rewritten script:  If I’m hosting, I make sure to prepare a lot of vegetables.  If I’m not, I volunteer to bring a few vegetable dishes.  I keep to the rule of 75% of my plate being vegetables (mostly green), but I allow that other 25% to be whatever it is I want on the table, whether it’s turkey and stuffing or butter-laden potatoes.  I eat it very slowly, savoring each delicious bite.  I may even put my fork down between each bite.  The benefit of Thanksgiving dinner is that it’s usually eaten earlier in the day (as we should eat all our big meals), so by the time bedtime rolls around, I’m nicely digested.  I also allow myself a small piece of pie or two that equal a small piece.  I eat it very slowly, again, savoring the flavors.   And then it’s over.  Restaurant closed.  No picking or snacking afterwards.  And as people are packing up to leave, I give away the foods that don’t serve me, which are the ones that people usually want to take, and keep the vegetables that most people would rather, sadly, leave.  Better for me! 

The next day, the holiday is over—back to my healthy ways, fondly remembering that delicious piece of pumpkin pie (and my memory is crystal clear since I took my time and savored every bite). 

If and when a holiday party comes around, I use the same strategy, though, often the food at these such occasions aren’t so great, so I don’t bother with the ones that famously look good, but taste average at best.  I just keep this awareness and stay away from the dessert table, which is the biggest culprit in putting on a pretty face, but not following through with taste.  I’d rather imagine a delicious sweet treat than blow my healthy habits on a piece of unworthy junk.  If, however, you are at a particularly unique holiday party where the food is fabulous, have it and enjoy it, without filling up.  Eat slowly and mindfully, stopping before you’re full, and remembering that the next day is a new day again.  You’re still firmly on the wagon.  And you feel great for it, mentally and physically.

I also use targets to help me through this season.  I’ve been almost completely sugar free (which means no refined sugars) for the last three weeks.  My target is Thanksgiving, when I know I’ll have a small slice of pumpkin and apple pie.  If it’s not sweets for you, maybe it’s mashed potatoes or biscuits.  So, enjoy them.  And the next day, they’re gone (that’s the trick you need to take care of), and you set your next target.  Allowing yourself the things on occasion that you like that may not always be so healthy is a strategy.  Deprivation doesn’t work.  But, little allowances do, keeping in mind that you are treating your body well so that it serves you well now and in the future.  

It’s really about the big picture.  And as much as I think we should live in the moment, when it comes to food, I can’t disagree more.  Of course, live in the moment as you are mindfully eating, but when you make your choices of what you’re going to put in your mouth, it’s necessary to think, “Will this serve me?”  “Will I feel sick tomorrow?”  “Will this put on the five pounds I tried so hard to lose last month?”  “Is it worth it?” And, looking even further into the future, keeping the cells of your body healthy so that they don’t develop disease and illness.  This awareness alone is enough to keep you on the right track.

I’m at the age where my peers’ health is starting to fade because of the bad habits they chose.  It seems everyone knows someone with cancer, diabetes (Type 2), or heart disease, if not many.  These are all lifestyle influenced diseases.  Sure, we may have been dealt the bad gene, but that doesn’t mean we have to turn it on.  It’s my goal to make sure my “bad” genes stay in the “off” position.  I’m not a believer in disease as a destiny of old age.

So, this holiday season, enjoy yourself.  See your enjoyment as single instances in the bigger picture and make sure to honor your body, only making choices that truly make you feel good.  Don’t give in to the old script.  It’s your book to write (and revise), so make it a good one.

Golden Blood

As I sat at the blood donation center a few weeks ago, filling out the form that asks a hundred questions about  risk factors, I looked around at the other people who were doing the same.  One woman came at the same time as I did.  We parked next to each other.  She got out of her car slowly.  I guessed her age to be in her early 60's.  As she walked slowly (seemingly in pain) to the door of the center, I noticed a cup in her hand--McDonald's coffee.  I wondered what she was answering on her form.  Across the sitting area from me was a man, probably in his late 40's or early 50's.  He was quite large around the middle.  Fifteen minutes later, I was set up on a recliner to have the blood drained from my arm.   Across the room was the Mc'Donald's lady and already being drained was another woman, probably in her 50's.  She looked healthy enough, but I still thought to myself, my blood must be healthier than these peoples'.  That may sound snobby, and I suppose it is, but I know I'm not average in the way I eat and take care of my health.  The average person eats too much sugar, artificial flavors and colors, preservatives, trans fats, and other food that isn't organic.  The average person is inactive and overweight by at least a few pounds.  And as much as I've dedicated my days to pointing this out to people who know this isn't good for them, there are still millions of more people who are going about their lives not giving it a second thought.  And some of those people give blood. 

You are what you eat.  Literally.  If you haven't really thought about it before, consider this.  Whatever we eat gets broken down by our miraculous body into all of its nutrients, vitamins and minerals.   As David Katz, M.D. explains, "The nutritional content of what we eat determines the composition of our cell membranes, bone marrow, blood, and hormones. Consider that the average adult loses roughly 300 billion cells to old age every day and must replace them. Our bodies are literally manufactured out of the food we consume."  Scientists and doctors don't even know the half of it as to what our bodies do with all the phytonutrients and vitamins that we ingest.  Probably some really amazing things. 

So, considering what I eat on a regular basis, my blood is made up of some really good stuff.  The majority of my diet is fruits and vegetables.  I stay away from all artificial ingredients and chemicals and I eat very little refined sugar.  My blood tests are stellar.  My antioxidant levels are almost off the charts.  I've worked hard to get here--I'm banking on having a very long and productive life.  So, if you were the one who was receiving blood, wouldn't you want mine?  If you had the choice between mine and the McDonald's lady, whose would you choose?

But people don't get the choice, of course.  Of course they test it for disease or infectious agents.  But they don't test it for its quality, or its antioxidant levels.  This made me think, shouldn't my blood, in a sense, be more valuable than the McDonald's lady's?  Shouldn't there be levels of healthfulness, where blood like mine would go to an infant holding on to her last breath getting a blood transfusion while the McDonald's lady's goes to a adult junkie who needs a transfusion for anemia because of his unhealthy lifestyle?  I imagine graded donation centers where you go according to your healthfulness.

I'll put that image into the collection of other images of a healthier world that I store in the back of my mind.   And for now, I'll just give my blood, knowing someone somewhere is getting the gold standard and I'll assume that person really needs it.  It was meant to be.  But that won't stop me from asking the phlebotomist next time about blood quality, even though I already know the answer.

An Image

When I was going to school at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition to become a health and nutrition counselor, Eric Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation, came to speak.  I hadn’t read the book, and what he said about the industry of fast food surprised and disgusted me.  Though it had been several years since I ate or stepped in a McDonald's or Burger King, I regretted any business I had provided them in the past.  At one point in his talk, I got overwhelmed and decided to take a break in the restroom.  As I got up from my seat, an image came to me.  I smiled, and made my way to the bathroom.  There was another woman in there, seemingly doing the same as I was.  “It’s overwhelming.” I said.  “Yeah,” she agreed and rolled her eyes with a breath of release.  “A weird thing happened to me as I got up just before,” I said, sensing she’d be open to what I was about to say. (The school’s students were almost all open-minded people, often leaning toward alternative ideas and practices.)  “As I got up, an image came to me of my children all grown, telling their children (my grandchildren) about this place called McDonald's that was around when they were young.”  “Oh my god!” the woman said all excited,  “I had the same exact image!”  We stared at each other for a moment smiling in disbelief.

Who knows if that moment was pure coincidence?  After all, we were similar in age and obviously had shared interests since we were both at IIN.  But it was a little magical, I must say.  And it gave me hope.  For those of us who have always been a little different from everyone else, believing in things most people don’t consider and doing things a lot of people think are hokey, I was feeling that the universe was shifting.  And it is.  Ever since I started seeing clients, I’m amazed at what people know and are getting information about concerning health and nutrition and movements against the mainstream tide.  I’m becoming not so different these days.  The majority of people I come across know about acupuncture and reiki.  Some of them use a chiropractor, and not just because of a painful back.  A lot of people are spending a little extra on organic food, and are trying herbs or alternative practices instead of taking medicine or seeing a doctor.  As absurd as it seems right now (still) with McDonald's all over the place with no sign of waning business, I do believe that one day it will be something in the history books.  Maybe not for my grandkids, but perhaps for theirs.  I just have to stay healthy enough to live that long, because, boy, do I want to see that!

Body: I'm listening . . .

I've been in a lot of pain lately. Lower back, left hip, right trapezius.  I don't sleep well, and I wake up cranky and in pain.   I think I know what's going on--at least partly.  One problem is that I'm not practicing what I preach.  I work with clients every day encouraging them to take care of themselves, yet here I am neglecting my body. Oh, the eating part is good--almost always is.  That's easy.  What's not so easy is the exercise (time) and the wellness care (money).  And so I go without, and my body talks to me through restless sleep and sore muscles.

I know I need to exercise--take walks, do my push-ups and sit-ups, garden, rake, jog once in a while.  I enjoy all of that, as long as I don't think of it as "exercise."  It's making the time.  And I can do that pretty easily if I just make it part of my schedule.   I also know that it will relieve most of my pain and restless sleep.  So, you say, JUST DO IT!

And so I will.  Because I need to walk the talk.  Especially now that I made it public.

I read a poem recently in The Sun magazine written by Sybil Smith titled "I'm Going To Quit Smoking."  One stanza really spoke to me:

Like a faithful friend, the body went on
hoping the mind would come to its senses.
And it did, finally.
And, lo and behold, there was still a body,
a strong body there to do the work of life.
And so I discovered God was not in my mind,

but had been hidden in my body all along.
God was in the cells that healed themselves,
and in the neurons and in the muscles,
the heart, especially the heart,
that beat and beat though not instructed to do so,
that beats now without prayers or offerings,
through every sin and misgiving.


I often think about our miraculous body--how it trudges on despite the trespasses, despite us taking it for granted.  We poison it, we abuse it, we try to stop its natural functions (plucking, waxing, smothering, dyeing, medicating, relentlessly cleaning).  And still, it faithfully tries to keep the homeostasis--an impossible task considering the aforementioned.  And when it finally breaks down or causes us pain, we get angry, as if it's betraying us.

So, I dedicate this writing to my beautiful, faithful body, and I vow to take better care of it, so it can do its job in taking care of me.  And with that vow, I will now get up off my chair, step away from my computer, and stretch my tight, sore muscles and send them gratitude.  Namaste.

Chocolate Without the Guilt

It always happens around this time of year--I can't seem to get through the day without craving chocolate.  Of course, the craving isn't exclusive to the cooler weather--I love chocolate regardless of the season.  It's just that come November, I think of it every day.

To confess, I've been having it every day too.

Chocolate for the Deb of 2009 is a far cry from the chocolate of my past.  Oh, I've always preferred dark chocolate to milk.  Don't even talk to me about white "chocolate."  Dark is what it's been for me ever since I was a wee one.  But in the old days, I didn't know what real dark chocolate tasted like.  Little did I know how deprived I was.

There's the Callebaut, Scharffen Berger, and Valrhona chocolates; arguably some of the world's best.  But I want to be socially conscious, environmentally responsible, and nutritionally pure, so there are others I prefer:  Theo Chocolate is one as is Terra Nostra, both organic and fair trade and undeniably delicious to boot.  More affordable, Green and Black's chocolate is organic as well and their Maya Gold label is certified fair trade.  Also less expensive, but not necessarily compromised is Dagoba, which is organic and has many products certified fair trade.   

None of them are cheap.  But I'm kinda glad about that.  It makes me savor them longer and eat less.  Sort of like Charlie Bucket when he gets his annual chocolate bar.  Good chocolate deserves to be appreciated.  Every single bite.  And when I do this, it's truly guilt-free.  In fact, it's so pleasurable, that it's good for me--my body happily receives the wonderful beneficial flavonoids that act as antioxidants fighting off the free radicals that run rampant in our bodies and can cause disease if we don't maintain a healthy diet and lifestyle.  On the flip side, when eating not so healthy chocolate (that chocolate birthday cake that I just had to have--after all, it was MY birthday), I often think not so good thoughts, making it doubly unhealthy.

My latest kick in guilt-free chocolate is this recipe I found on the Whole Foods Market website:  Flourless Black Bean Brownies.  Chocolate and beans!  How can you get much healthier than that while still getting your sweet tooth fix?  I've adjusted the recipe so as to not include as much refined sugar (or none if you go with the grain-sweetened chocolate chips).  Hope you find them as delicious as I do (and my family agrees!).

Flourless Black Bean Brownies

1 (15-ounce) can no-salt-added black beans, drained and rinsed
3 large eggs
1/3 cup melted butter, more for the baking dish
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon gluten-free vanilla extract
1/2 cup date or palm sugar

3 tablespoons dark agave nectar
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or grain sweetened)
1/3 cup finely chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Butter an 8-inch baking pan. Place the black beans, eggs, melted butter, cocoa powder, salt, vanilla, sugar and agave in the bowl of a food processor and blend until smooth. Remove the blade and carefully stir in the chocolate chips and walnuts. Transfer mixture to the prepared pan. Bake the brownies for 35 to 40 minutes, or until just set in the center. Cool before cutting into squares. The consistency is dense and fudge-like, unlike traditional brownies, but wonderfully delicious.

My Quest to Health the World

The older gentleman went out of his way to move his groceries up so I had room to start loading the belt with mine. He thoughtfully put the divider up and pushed it forward to give me even more room. Then he looked at me and smiled.

“Thank you,” I said with a smile back and began loading my stuff. As I was doing this, I watched him and his wife put their groceries in bags. Plastic bags. He picked up his packaged steaks and other beef items (there were four) and placed them into the plastic bag on the metal frame. When it was full, he picked up the bag and put it inside another plastic bag. I took a quiet deep breath. “I’m sure he has no idea,” I thought. Nice guy. (I had heard him try to drum up small talk with the cashier, giving her sympathy for how busy it was at the store today.) “He has no idea what negative effects he has on his health, the environment, and the welfare of animals. He has no clue.”

I am not perfect, of course, and I have no right to judge anyone else. I am not right and he is not wrong. I am not good and he is not bad. In fact, I am no different from him. Yes, I brought my own canvas bags and bought mostly organic produce and no meat. But, I also didn’t bring enough canvas bags and so I needed to use a plastic bag. I drove to the store instead of biking and I’m sure I did many other things on my simple trip to the grocery store that some people would consider terrible, though I’m not really sure what they are.

But that’s my point. Several years ago, I had no idea that using plastic bags was harmful to the environment. I’m sure I double bagged. I didn’t even think about it. Nor did I think about buying chicken that was factory farmed and treated inhumanely. I used products harmful to the environment in my home and on my self and my babies. I’ve learned a lot since then and there has been new information brought to the public attention since then. But that doesn’t mean everyone reads it. I would venture to say that most people don’t. I do, but that’s because I have a passion for health.

When I first became “enlightened” on living a truly healthy lifestyle, I also became slightly depressed. I had gone to a conference where a holistic doctor spoke of how he cured cancers and got diabetics off their insulin. He named a number of other diseases and conditions all cured through proper diet and lifestyle changes. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I was like a fruit perfectly ready to be picked. I came home from that conference ready to cure the world of its disease, or at least those who I cared about most.

I thought, at that time, that I had the secret weapon against all ills. I thought—here I have the answer, and when I tell people all their health problems will fade away. We will all live to ripe old age feeling fine up until the very end. They will be so happy. It will be like they hit the lottery and all of a sudden, they had no more debt.

But I was wrong. People didn’t want my secret weapon. They didn’t buy it. Or, maybe they believed it but it didn’t pertain to them, or it was just too much of a change that they’d rather depend on quick fixes, even though they never really fixed. Over and over again, I’d tell people my secret, and over and over, they’d shake their heads. I felt as though now I had this treasure that I couldn’t share, as if I won the lottery, but I could only spend it on myself and alone. That’s when the depression set in. I couldn’t change the world if it didn’t want to be changed.

I’m not one to be depressed for long. I knew I had to make a move in one direction or another. One could be to trudge on, continuing with my quest to heal the world. Another could be to isolate myself, becoming a hermit happily doing the things I believe in with no one to challenge me. Or, I could remain in the social world and get cynical and bitter, telling everyone else to suffer for being so ignorant and stubborn. I considered all of those.

For a long while, I felt very alone. I couldn’t relate to the people I once related to. I couldn’t accept that they made choices that were unhealthy. Even friends I was fond of for a long time seemed different to me. I started to avoid social situations where my new values would be challenged—barbeques, amusement parks, even children’s birthday parties. Worse, my husband wasn’t on board with my new found health choices. Our debates would turn to arguments, which would lead to more feelings of loneliness. I became a self imposed outcast.

And then I found others. I found a group of people dedicated to living healthy. I joined them and a whole new world opened up to me. That’s when I began my quest to heal the world. I’m starting small and I’m learning a lot.

I’m learning that I can be a model and set examples, but I can’t force people to change. In fact, I’m learning, the more I keep quiet and live the way I believe, the more people listen to me. I walk the talk. And if I’m quiet enough, I notice the changes. Usually they are small and with my own family, they are slow and gradual, but as I look back and remember what it used to be like, I see how much has changed for the better.

People do want to be healthy, but they want to do it on their own terms and within their own time frame. Often it means being healthy in one area, but not so much in another. I have to remember that it took me a long time to get to where I am and I wasn’t so thrilled to give up some of my comforts. I still have some. I have to accept that and not judge people. And I have to remember that my definition of being healthy is not my neighbors’ definition. In fact, within my peer group of other healthy people, we often disagree about what is good and not good. So do the “experts.” We each have our own path. I also have to keep in mind that although this path may result in a long, healthy life, that doesn’t guarantee that I am not hit by lightening or some other random tragedy. With this in mind, I try to make sure I enjoy myself and not live so strictly as to deny pleasure for the sake of a few extra months of life.

Lately, I try to avoid looking at others groceries when they load them on the belt at the supermarket. I look at the people and smile and then bide my time scanning the magazine rack until it’s my turn to check out. I feel much better this way. I do however, load my groceries quickly so that they might get a chance to see what I’m buying—maybe they’ll notice and take note subconsciously. Probably not, but it’s worth a try.