Small Gifts

Gifts are on my mind lately; literal material gifts,  as well as philosophical.  It was my birthday last week.  I got one mailed birthday card, but at least 30 birthday wishes on Facebook.  I'm not on Facebook much and so I don't appreciate it as others do, but it sure was nice to get all those greetings.  It really felt like my birthday!

I realize in recent years that material gifts, though very nice sometimes, don't really stick with you as the philisophical ones.  Maybe not that you remember the philosophical ones more, because sometimes you don't, but their meanings stay with you unlike the material ones.

Last month I was on my way home from an appointment, just about to cross a small bridge.  There is a stoplight about 500 feet from the bridge and a small park on the right of the road.  Traffic flows smoothly here, normally.  That day, however, cars were backed up before the stop light.  I couldn't see why,  at first.  As I looked around the cars in front of me, I saw the line of Canada geese.  They were traveling from the park, across the road, to the marsh behind the restaurant on the other side of the street.   One by one, they crossed.  Traffic was held up on both sides.   I sat there in my car as the light turned green, yellow, and red several times, giggling because here we humans are in our busy self-involved lives, and we all had to just stop and let the geese cross.  It didn't matter where we were all going, or when we had to be there.  We had to wait.  For the geese.  It was beautiful.   These creatures, oblivious to human wants and needs, simply wanted to get to the other side.  All 50 of them.  Sometimes it takes something like this to make us stop and just be.  I wondered how many of the people in the cars were doing this.  I have a feeling not many.  But this was a gift given to us, whether we knew it or not.

On my birthday, my daughter gave me a scarf that she crocheted herself.  My son gave me a tea pot that I had admired at a gift shop the month before, and my husband gave me a pasta maker.  We rarely eat pasta, and especially of late as both  my son and I have gone mostly gluten free.  I wanted to be gracious, but at the same time, I didn't want to keep this machine that I knew I wouldn't be using.  I also held back the comments in my mind as I saw what it was.  I know how difficult it is to buy gifts sometimes, especially for someone who is not so materialistic.  So, I looked at it as a gift--something thought about and bought with the intention of making me happy, if for a moment.  I suppose that is what birthday gifts are about.  Glad they come but once a year.

Yesterday, I came across a woman with a small bull-dog puppy.  One of my rules in life is to never pass a dog without attempting to pet it (assuming it's safe).  So, I asked to pet her and crouched down to touch the little being.  She was adorable beyond words.  Sleepy and sweet, with ripples of skin to grow into.  Her smushed up face was precious and she was too young to drool as her later self surely would.  I couldn't get enough of her.  It took all of my energy to get up and leave after the appropriate puppy petting time was up.  I just wanted to scoop her into my arms and kidnap her.  She was a drug of ecstasy that I wanted to squeeze and absorb into my cells.  And so her spirit stayed with me the rest of the day and still.  That was a gift.


In thinking about this blog, it occurred to me that I should keep a notebook titled "GIFTS" and write down things each day that felt like gifts, material or philosophical.  A great exercise to do when I'm in a rut.  It may help me look for gifts too, instead of overlooking them in my everyday self-involved rush.  Just like the picture of the Canada goose that I keep on the edge of my computer monitor but often look past.  There are usually gifts right in front of us if we just opened our eyes and minds to see them.

Body: I'm listening . . .

I've been in a lot of pain lately. Lower back, left hip, right trapezius.  I don't sleep well, and I wake up cranky and in pain.   I think I know what's going on--at least partly.  One problem is that I'm not practicing what I preach.  I work with clients every day encouraging them to take care of themselves, yet here I am neglecting my body. Oh, the eating part is good--almost always is.  That's easy.  What's not so easy is the exercise (time) and the wellness care (money).  And so I go without, and my body talks to me through restless sleep and sore muscles.

I know I need to exercise--take walks, do my push-ups and sit-ups, garden, rake, jog once in a while.  I enjoy all of that, as long as I don't think of it as "exercise."  It's making the time.  And I can do that pretty easily if I just make it part of my schedule.   I also know that it will relieve most of my pain and restless sleep.  So, you say, JUST DO IT!

And so I will.  Because I need to walk the talk.  Especially now that I made it public.

I read a poem recently in The Sun magazine written by Sybil Smith titled "I'm Going To Quit Smoking."  One stanza really spoke to me:

Like a faithful friend, the body went on
hoping the mind would come to its senses.
And it did, finally.
And, lo and behold, there was still a body,
a strong body there to do the work of life.
And so I discovered God was not in my mind,

but had been hidden in my body all along.
God was in the cells that healed themselves,
and in the neurons and in the muscles,
the heart, especially the heart,
that beat and beat though not instructed to do so,
that beats now without prayers or offerings,
through every sin and misgiving.


I often think about our miraculous body--how it trudges on despite the trespasses, despite us taking it for granted.  We poison it, we abuse it, we try to stop its natural functions (plucking, waxing, smothering, dyeing, medicating, relentlessly cleaning).  And still, it faithfully tries to keep the homeostasis--an impossible task considering the aforementioned.  And when it finally breaks down or causes us pain, we get angry, as if it's betraying us.

So, I dedicate this writing to my beautiful, faithful body, and I vow to take better care of it, so it can do its job in taking care of me.  And with that vow, I will now get up off my chair, step away from my computer, and stretch my tight, sore muscles and send them gratitude.  Namaste.

Time Travels with a Cook Book

I have this cookbook that was my grandmother’s. It’s yellow and stained and 623 pages. The cover has a double row of little women in old fashioned cooking frocks lining up to a big heart. The title of the cookbook: “The Settlement Cook Book. The way to a man’s heart.” It’s compiled by Mrs. Simon Kander of which there used to be a nice photo page, though it’s been ripped and lost except for a small piece where you can see her handwritten note, “Very Truly Yo---Mrs. Sim----.“ The inside cover states, “Tested Recipes from The Milwaukee Public School Kitchens, Girls Trades and Technical High School, Authoritative Dieticians, and Experienced Housewives.” It’s the twenty-eighth edition, enlarged and revised, September 1947.

I brought it out the other day to look up a recipe and while waiting for my tea water to boil, I started browsing the rest of the book. It’s been a while since I really looked through it and I’m pretty sure I hadn’t read the beginning of the book since I’ve become the Warrior Princess of Health. Actually, I may have never read it before. Boy, did I not know what I was missing!

Here are the “Three Golden Rules for an adequate diet:”

I. Eat something every day from each of the seven basic food groups.
II. These seven food groups are: (1) Green and yellow vegetables, some raw—some cooked, frozen or canned. (2) Oranges, tomatoes, grapefruit or raw cabbages, or salad greens. (3) Potatoes and other vegetables and fruits—raw, dried, cooked, frozen, or canned. (4) Milk and milk products—fluid, evaporated, dried, milk, ice cream, or cheese. (5) Meat, poultry, fish or eggs or dried beans, peas, nuts or peanut butter. (6) Bread, flour, and cereals—natural whole grain or enriched or restored. (7) Butter or fortified margarine (Vitamin A added).
III. After you have had the above—eat what you may desire, providing you are not on a restricted diet.

I have to say that I was surprised at the nutritional knowledge in the cookbook. The idea of needing raw foods and whole grains seemed to have gotten lost in the years following, which is why it surprised me so. However, there were quite a few things that seemed year-appropriate:

Mother’s milk is the best food for the newborn baby. If, however, the mother hasn’t enough milk to keep the baby contented . . . bottle feedings must be used. Bottle feedings are made by mixing definite quantities of cow’s milk or evaporated milk with water, then adding some sugar to make up the calories needed for the baby’s growth.

Every baby should receive orange juice and cod liver oil or their equivalent substitutes. These are usually started during the first month of life.

Between the second and third month, most babies appear dissatisfied with milk alone.

It goes on to say that cereal is the first food usually fed to babies but as the baby gets “older” he usually refuses it and then it’s time to introduce vegetables, usually between the third and fourth month. It gives a whole schedule too—with times and what should be fed at what exact ages. It even has a “diet for the pre-school child” with recipes such as SCRAPED BEEF, FLOUR-BALL, OATMEAL GRUEL and CRACKER GRUEL. What follows this section is “Invalid Cookery” with liquid diet recipes such as ALBUMENIZED MILK, ORANGE EGGNOG, TOAST WATER and BEEF TEA.

Many of the recipes call for “saccharin to taste.” It also often talks about foods being “irradiated.”

There’s a whole section on milk starting with the advice that “Milk should be cooled quickly after it comes from the cow and kept cold.” And there are definitions for the different kinds of milk such as FORTIFIED, HOMOGENIZED, CERTIFIED, EVAPORATED, CONDENSED, SKIM, BUTTERMILK AND SOUR MILK (of which directions are given as to how to make it, “preferably with raw milk.”

There’s also a substantial section on coffee starting with instructions as to how “to clear boiled coffee” using egg shells. “Three egg shells will clear one cup of ground coffee.” And then there is “Egg Water.” Here’s the recipe:

1 egg
1 cup cold water
pinch salt

Wash and break egg in large cup or pint jar, beating constantly while pouring on 1 cup cold water. Cover and place in refrigerator for future use. For each cup of coffee use 1 tablespoon of the egg water.

It never does explain why egg should be added to coffee. The rest of the section talks about proportions used in making coffee and recipes for BOILED COFFEE (USING EGG WATER), COFFEE FOR 40 PEOPLE (why 40?), INSTANT COFFEE, DECAFFEINATED COFFEE, DRIP COFFEE, PERCOLATED COFFEE, CEREAL COFFEE (I have no idea) and LEFTOVER COFFEE. There’s also a reference to ICED COFFEE (see page 532).

It then becomes a somewhat standard cookbook, though some recipes are reminiscent of older times (and Bugs Bunny episodes) like FRICASSEED GOOSE, SUCCOTASH, and WELSH RAREBIT.

Some recipes I’m thinking of trying, if just for the names, like RINKTUM-DITY and ENGLISH MONKEY. There’s a BUTTERFLY SALAD with the ingredients of pineapple slices, candied fruit, pistachios and asparagus tips and a dish called SHRIMP WIGGLE.

In the back of the book are several pages dedicated to canning. Finally, Chapter 45, Menus, gives advice on PROVISIONS FOR 40 PEOPLE (again!) and FOOD COMBINATIONS, such as FRIED LIVER AND BACON, FRIED ONIONS, MASHED POTATOES, APPLE SAUCE. Following this useful list are suggestions for “Home Dinners,” an “Oyster Supper,” a “Chinese Supper,” “Sunday Night Suppers, “Buffet Suppers,” “Cocktail Parties,” and several pages of “Luncheon Menus.” There are more too, for club parties, tea parties and a children’s supper party. The “School Lunch Menus” include "(No.1) Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches, page 322." Following that are "Holiday Menus" for every imaginable holiday. There’s even a page and a half of “Meatless Dinners.” The book ends with the last page, “TO BUILD A CAMP FIRE” and “CAMP COOKERY,” including how to broil a rabbit or squirrel.

I am inspired to try a few things. Maybe it’s that I just saw the movie “Julie & Julia” where Julie decides to cook all the recipes in Julia Child’s cookbook “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” in a year’s time and blog about it each day. I will not do that, but I may be back once or twice if I do have a story to tell while cooking up some English Monkey.

Keep on Walking

I have to be honest. Sometimes I feel like saying, "screw this--it's too much work!" Sometimes, I want to just not read the labels. Sometimes, I want to live carefree and eat that croissant or that piece of chocolate cake and NOT THINK ABOUT IT. I want to walk through a public space and NOT notice that a third of the people are overweight. I want to throw away that plastic bottle instead of holding onto it until I find a recycling bin. Sometimes I just want to be NORMAL.

But then I remember that people actually do pay attention to me. I have changed some peoples' lives, even if it was a small change or a few people. They look to me as an example--a guide to what is healthy and good for them and the world. And this thought makes me stand up straight and vow to keep going. I really have to keep walking the talk if I want to change the world. It's not just what I say. Anyone who knows kids knows this.

But then I wonder how my clients deal with this thought. I know they find the transition hard sometimes--when they make changes, they see that it will take some effort to be healthy and it's not temporary. They have to decide whether the effort is worth it and it's my job to convince them that it is. Of course, the challenge in this is that it's hard to look into the future and be sure of a good quality of life when there's so many things that can happen between now and that future. And it's really hard to link that future healthy person to the present one who really wants to eat that Big Mac.

I never really thought about how much of my work is the art of persuasion. Of course, half the work is done already by the time my clients come to me. Something or someone already convinced them that they need to change--that becoming more healthy is something they have committed to. My clients are actually the easy audience. It's my family and friends who are the challenge. They aren't with me because they want to learn how to be healthy, and they certainly don't want me to treat them as clients. So, this is where my walking the talk comes in. Silent persuasion. And though they may not admit it to me or to themselves, I do believe it works. I secretly smile and pat myself on the back when I see these little changes or hear something that echoes what I've been preaching all these years. That alone keeps me going.

"What keeps you going isn't some fine destination but just the road you're on, and the fact that you know how to drive. " Barbara Kingsolver

Last night I had Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream. This is not a confession. People I know often tell me that they are self-conscious when they eat around me, worrying that I'm taking note of their food choices and judging them. To be honest, of course I notice. And two years ago, I probably would have judged them silently. These days, however, I don't. People make choices that they make--it is what it is. I'm glad I make them self-conscious. Maybe they will make healthier choices knowing I'm going to be there. It can only be a good thing.

I know that many of my friends have made big changes in their food choices just from hanging out with me and asking questions and seeing what I'm eating. I know I've made a lot of people healthier overall, and these aren't even my clients.

But, let me get back to that ice cream I had last night. No one except my family saw me eat it, but there are times where I get ice cream when I'm out or have a piece of cake at a birthday party or a dessert at a restaurant, and I am the one who is self-conscious because I am wondering what people are thinking watching me, the Princess Warrior of Health, eating something "unhealthy." Do they think I'm a hypocrite? Do they think that maybe it's OK to eat this stuff since I'm eating it? Does this make them go back to eating junk more often because they saw Debbie Peterson eating a piece of cake? I hope not.

What I've learned over the last couple of years is to lighten up. I eat well--very well--99% of the time. I eat a lot of vegetables--probably 10-15 servings a day. Fruit too. And my protein and fat choices are healthy as well. I never eat at McDonald's, and I rarely eat any kind of processed foods. So, once in a while, I have ice cream. Yes, I read the ingredients, and I won't have it sometimes if it has high fructose corn syrup or artificial colors or flavors. But, I will have it with all its sugar and dairy despite knowing it isn't good for me, physically.

But it is good for me because I enjoy it and have fun while I'm eating it. And because I don't have it often, I savor it and enjoy it a bit more than I used to when it was an often occurrence. I actually really enjoy it. And though I can't say I have no guilt eating it, I have almost no guilt (I'm working on that).

I don't tell my clients to give up things they enjoy. I tell them what's good and bad about it as far as nutrition, and they often make the choice to give it up on their own, but I also encourage them to indulge in it once in a while. I tell them to really enjoy every single bite of it. Savor it. Make it worth it. Usually, they have less of it when this happens. When we actually pay attention to what we're eating, and get all the flavors and textures and appreciate them, we don't really need to gorge on them. It becomes pointless.

My husband finished the pint last night. Ten years ago, I would have been upset that he ate my ice cream. But honestly, I didn't mind at all. I didn't even think about it. I was done with it. I truly enjoyed my 1/3 of the pint and it probably would have sat in the freezer for a month or more before I threw it out. I couldn't have imagined that ten years ago. It feels good. I'm getting hungry talking about all this food. It's lunch time. Bon Apetite!